Well… that helped me realize why
I destroy everything that is good and I don’t even blame you for satisfying yourself at my dismay. I just don’t feel worthy of much anymore. How can I rise up from this feeling, I know it’s true. I don’t feel like I deserve a place here or anywhere. All I do is frustrate people, annoy them, and pity myself. This is the way I am and I have begun wondering if it is even possible to change, despite all the “change your attitude” articles I’ve been reading…and not understanding. I simply don’t think it’s possible for me to make anyone happy, including myself. How much longer…..
I was going to erase this blog from my life but maybe it’s all I have… like a bottomless box I shove under the bed… filled to the brim with pity and unecessary sadness.. always seeming to have room for more.
Is it disgusting of me to feel like the end is near?